The 101 Most Insane Things That Have Ever Happened In Florida

1. Accused Florida man says his cat downloaded child porn, not him.

2. Florida man calls 911 80 times to demand Kool-Aid, hamburgers, and weed

3. Man says cocaine in his buttocks isn’t his

4. Man stabbed in confusion over harmonicas

5. Drunk woman calls 911 to say she was lost in woods, did not know where to urinate

6. Trapper trying to catch elusive loose monkey gets death threats

7. Sex-doll threesome man gets off

8. Florida man has sex with pit bull in his yard as neighbors beg him to stop

Tampa Police Dept. / Via

9. Man sprinkled fiancée’s ashes at LensCrafters, causing Florida mall’s evacuation: Sarasota Police

10. Florida strip club offering free flu shots

11. Roommates’ argument over dog ends with (human) bites, deputies say

12. Florida man beats daughter for 40 minutes to the tune of “Blurred Lines”

13. Woman plans to sue philanthropist after donkey attack

14. Largo man arrested for 120th time

Largo Police Dept. / Via

15. Teacher injured in airborne fish attack

16. Florida DMV tells woman she lives on “Eat Ass” Street


17. Man who “exposed himself” tells police: “I was just airing out my penis”

18. “Not Homeless Need Boobs”: Fla. woman asks for donations alongside busy roadway

19. Flaming lingerie prompts K-Mart evacuation

20. Man trapped by fallen water buffalo head

21. Grave keeper sued over monkey’s resting place

22. Woman accused of trying to sell “hot” snakes at pet shop

23. Herpes-infected monkeys terrorize Florida

24. Babysitter accused of sleeping on toilet as 2-year-old wanders to canal with alligators

25. Polk Man pleads not guilty to swimming naked with gators

26. Hybrid man-eating pythons? Florida is on alert

27. Naked man asks, “Taser me, bro,” gets his wish

28. Suspected thieves target school’s frozen chicken nuggets

29. “Twilight” fan charged with making a false report to police to cover up bite marks

30. Peanut butter ball dispute sends Golden Gate man to jail

31. Woman in Fort Pierce said she called 911 because she “ate too much food”

32. “Zombie” attacks guard in nudist resort scuffle, deputies say

Land O’Lakes Police Dept. / Via

33. Police: Fla. teen accidentally shoots off his penis and testicle

34. Grandma’s last resting place? A Fla. storage unit

35. Man charged with folding woman into couch in Palmetto

36. Florida man arrested for calling 911 after his cat was denied entry into strip club

37. Pregnant woman attacked man with bowl of spaghetti, cops say

38. Man dies after getting stuck in girlfriend’s cat door

39. Potato salad rage leads to woman’s arrest

Daytona Beach Police Dept. / Via

40. Mom jailed in Etch A Sketch attack

41. PSL man ate stolen ice cream sandwich he kept in pants, police say

42. Lawmaker files bill to repeal state ban on dwarf tossing in bars

43. Conehead mascot in pointy white hood mistaken as Klan follower

44. Suspected Florida prostitute Christina Vavra busted by cop’s “flaccid rubber penis”

45. “I’m guilty. Arrest me,” woman says after cucumber-salad attack

46. Largo man accused of misusing 911 to report Taco Bell for not selling him tacos

47. “Big hairy” buttocks, golf balls cited in St. Lucie County neighbor issue

48. Man stole life-size Justin Bieber cutout

49. Estates man arrested for DUI blames “boogeyman” for motorcycle crash, deputies report

50. U.S. Airways allows man in underwear to fly


51. Dumb blonde joke ends in nipple bite, knife attack

52. Police: Teen stole car, candy canes

53. Woman arrested after assaulting man with butter

54. Man accused of attacking woman with swim noodle over watermelon dispute at Lowdermilk Park

55. Tampa police say woman tried to buy her 80-year-old father a prostitute over Easter weekend

56. Man accused of stealing truck full of Krispy Kremes

57. Florida woman renews marriage vows with Ferris wheel named Bruce

58. Duo stole golf cart from nudist resort for McDonald’s run, Pasco deputies say

59. Kangaroo leads Florida deputies on 10-hour chase

60. Beanie Babies swiped: Men accused of taking little girl’s toys during armed home invasion

61. 75-year-old Orange City man accused of throwing grape at ex-wife’s face, threatening to kill her

62. Drunken woman cries, eats stranger’s food while at PF Changs

63. Florida man dies after winning cockroach-eating contest

64. Robber had shorts on his head


65. Polo club founder Goodman adopts his adult girlfriend

66. Thieves kill family’s pet turkey for Thanksgiving meal

67. Lake Park man allegedly obsessed with Fox News, GOP is in jail after threats made to girlfriend

68. Man arrested in DUI case also had squirrel inside his shirt

69. Florida woman Megan causes two-vehicle crash… while shaving her bikini line

70. Florida man too fat for jail

71. Man charged with lawn mower DUI

72. 346-pound man punches Domino’s pizza guy for forgetting his garlic knots, cops say

73. Pink-clad pooch stolen from gay bar by man with Britney tattoo

74. Jackmeoff Mudd arrested In Fort Lauderdale

75. Florida goat skateboards into Guinness Book of World Records


76. Christopher Phillips attacks mom for using his taco sauce, salsa

77. Mark Miller allegedly used sword, sandwich in Florida attack

78. Bogus dentist accused of kissing buttocks of woman with toothache

79. Mom bites daughter who tried to turn off Rihanna CD

Indian River County Sheriff’s Office / Via

80. Florida man bites off girlfriend’s thumb on the way to Taco Bell

81. Florida swingers’ orgy goes horribly wrong

82. Trend of young people drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk hits Florida

83. Wild raccoons invade school, pee on student

84. Largo puppeteer wanted to “cook” and “eat” children

85. “Zombie” attacks continue? Man under the influence gets naked, bites off chunk of man’s arm

86. Man wears drug recipe on shirt, in court

87. Burger King customer ordered “blunt and some herbs”

88. Teen calls cops when she hears mom having sex

89. Lake Park man arrested after confronting girlfriend for “casting spells”

90. Florida man bitten by shark, punched by monkey (twice), struck by lightning, bitten by snake

91. “Mean drunk” smears poop on teen’s face

92. Deputy removes Doritos bag from deer’s head


93. Man tries to trade alligator for beer

94. Florida Man arrested for assault with Taco Bell burrito

95. Deputies: Man terrorized 8-year-old over potato chips

96. Florida Keys woman bites spring breaker’s face for littering

97. Clerk laughed at bandit and just said “no”

98. Florida accidentally banned all computers, smartphones in the state through internet cafeé ban

99. Woman accused of etching image of male genitalia on stranger’s SUV at Publix, left note

100. Man arrested for giving people wedgies

101. Man stabbed brother over missing mac and cheese, beer

Volusia County Sheriff’s Office / Via


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