The Good News / Bad News Joke Page

Doctor: I have some good news and
I have some bad news.

What’s the good news?

The good news is that the tests you took showed that you have 24
hours to live.

That’s the good news?  What’s the bad news?

The bad news is
that  I forgot to call you yesterday!
Gallery Owner:I have some good news and some bad news.


What’s the good news?
Gallery Owner:The good news is that a man came in here today asking if the price of
your paintings would go up after you die.  When I told him they
would he bought every one of your paintings.
Artist:That’s great!  What’s the bad news?
Gallery Owner:The bad news is that man was your doctor!
Wife:I have some good news and some
bad news.
Husband:What’s the good news?
Wife:The good news is I found a
picture that’s worth $500,000.
Husband:Wow!  That’s
wonderful!  What’s the bad news?
Wife:The bad news is that the picture is of you and your
Lawyer:I have some good
news and some bad news.
Client:Well, give me the
bad news first.
Lawyer:The bad news is that
the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the
crime scene
Client:Oh no!  I’m
ruined!  What’s the good news?
Lawyer:The good news is
your cholesterol is down to 130!
Doctor:I have some good
news and some bad news.
Patient:What’s the good
Doctor:The good news is
they are naming a disease after you!

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