The Good News / Bad News Joke Page


Doctor: I have some good news and
I have some bad news.

Patient: 
What’s the good news?

Doctor: 
The good news is that the tests you took showed that you have 24
hours to live.

Patient:
That’s the good news?  What’s the bad news?

Doctor:
The bad news is
that  I forgot to call you yesterday!
Gallery Owner:I have some good news and some bad news.

Artist:

What’s the good news?
Gallery Owner:The good news is that a man came in here today asking if the price of
your paintings would go up after you die.  When I told him they
would he bought every one of your paintings.
Artist:That’s great!  What’s the bad news?
Gallery Owner:The bad news is that man was your doctor!
Wife:I have some good news and some
bad news.
Husband:What’s the good news?
Wife:The good news is I found a
picture that’s worth $500,000.
Husband:Wow!  That’s
wonderful!  What’s the bad news?
Wife:The bad news is that the picture is of you and your
secretary!
Lawyer:I have some good
news and some bad news.
Client:Well, give me the
bad news first.
Lawyer:The bad news is that
the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the
crime scene
Client:Oh no!  I’m
ruined!  What’s the good news?
Lawyer:The good news is
your cholesterol is down to 130!
Doctor:I have some good
news and some bad news.
Patient:What’s the good
news?
Doctor:The good news is
they are naming a disease after you!

 
Want some really good news? 
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